Say This to Yourself...
Charlie at One Mile in Bidwell Park, Chico
When I was younger, the girls were younger too.
They knew the drill: climb into the triple jogging stroller each morning at 8:30 am. Buckle up safe, sippy cups and lovies held in tiny pudgy hands. Abby clutched a tattered blanket, rubbing the frayed satin border under her nose back and forth, as if in a trance. Bella gripped a small bear which held a rattle inside. She, too, would rub the matted rattle bear fur beneath her nose in a methodical rhythm. The most wee one of the group, Emma, sat in the middle - pacifier clipped onto her onesie, ready to be plugged by big sisters at the first sound of any fuss.
Say this to yourself until it is true: all of us are better when we get out for a few hours each day.
One morning I had forgotten to eat anything prior to this 4 mile run with the kid holding machine. Suddenly, blood sugar plummeting, I began to feel nauseous. Across the street stood the fire station where the girls would wave to the firefighters on the occasion they were out front washing the trucks. A safe space sign in the shape of a yellow triangle hung clearly above the glass doors with a picture of an infant. Clearly, this was an advertisement saying we are here to help. If you need to leave your baby, no questions will be asked. I wondered if the same could be said for a young mom running through the neighborhood who needed a snack so she wouldn’t faint.
I knocked. They answered. I explained. They handed me an apple and an orange - no questions asked. Just like if I had parked the triple jogger and headed for the hills.
Say this to yourself until it is true: fueling your body properly is more important than the number on the fucking scale.
Now that I am older, the girls are older too. The twinsies live seven hours south and they will always be my first born. They each threw down $100 so I could hop on a flight to visit them a few weeks ago. The third one keeps impeccable records, telling me how much I owe her when my perimenopausal herbs are charged to her card and delivered to her college in Virginia via Amazon by accident. Number four says absolutely no pictures are to be posted on social media without consent. None. And number 5, well, sometimes she acts like she actually likes me.
Say this to yourself until it is true: take it in, let it go, be here with each of them exactly as they are.
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